I traveled to San Francisco this past weekend to celebrate my buddy’s wedding. It was a great celebration with some beautiful people, but my life lesson came from a 4-year-old at the San Francisco airport who taught me about freedom and perspective. Here’s how it went down.

As with many cross-country trips, there were delays. Our first delay was on the runway. The pilot said that flights to the West Coast were canceled, so we sat and waited for an update. After waiting for over an hour, the flight attendant told everyone to return to their seats and prepare for takeoff in a hurry so “we can try to leave before they stop us again.” That seemed a bit strange, but hey, whatever it takes to get us off the ground and headed towards our destination! 

The Line

We arrived in San Francisco later than expected. I took the tram to the rental car center to pick up my reserved vehicle, which I would drive 40 minutes to my hotel. When I approached the counter, there was a long line for the rental cars. I exhaled and shook my head in dismay. It was almost midnight, and I couldn’t believe they would extend my night even more.  

After standing in line for over 30 minutes, I heard a 4-year-old meltdown. I previously saw a father carrying his resting son around the airport, but he appeared to need a break. The tired and cranky son wasn’t having it. His crankiness was warranted because he was several people behind me, meaning his night would be even longer. He let out a deep wail as if he had walked across 100 miles of torturing desert, only to arrive at the mirage of thirst-quenching water. I empathized with him. I wanted to match his energy and let out my own deep wail, but I felt it would be much less acceptable for someone my age. Guys, it was waaay past my bedtime! 

Somewhere between my dramatic thoughts about wailing, my tiredness, and my random midnight hunger, I recognized the boy had stopped crying. In fact, there was something different going on: He was laughing. 

What changed? 

The Perspective

What struck me was that his circumstances hadn’t changed. He was still in the airport, hadn’t napped, and it was already after 1:00 a.m. Somehow, his perspective of what was going on changed. What was previously a boring and exhausting experience transformed into a fun game of tag with his little sister. 

Here’s what we can learn: 

Sometimes, our lack of imagination limits us.

I’m a 9:00 p.m. bedtime kinda guy. It’s like Cinderella: I get in the goofy mood when the clock strikes 9:00 p.m. It doesn’t take much to make me laugh, almost in a hallucinogenic way. My goofy mood usually persists until I crash. I wouldn’t necessarily consider this a joyful experience. It’s just my body’s way of tiring me before falling asleep. That’s different from what this young man at the airport was doing. He was having a joyous experience!

It was almost as if he had transformed the airport into a playground where only he and his little sister existed. None of the staring, smiling (or snarling) adults mattered. It was just him, his sister, and the loads of fun they were having at that moment. I couldn’t help but smile as I watched their joy, but in retrospect, I realized that I could have used that same kind of imagination to create a joyful experience. For example, I could have imagined that the line was a meet and greet because people from various cultures and backgrounds were sharing the same experience as me. What better time to spark a conversation and learn more about them? 

I could have imagined the line was my personal office where I could write, journal, or edit a previous article. My imagination could have overtaken my need to ruminate on the negative aspects of the circumstance.

Sometimes, our freedom limits us.

My decision to ruminate on negativity was an exercise of my freedom to choose. Often, our free choice limits our creativity and imagination, and it distracts us from achieving our purpose. This reminds me of an old “Thomas and the Trucks” episode. 

Thomas was envious of the other engines who got to pull trucks. Pulling trucks symbolized freedom: an opportunity to prove himself, step outside his usual responsibilities, and finally do what he believed he was missing. Eventually, he got his chance. But that “freedom” came at a cost. What Thomas thought would make him happy ended up causing more stress and almost led to disaster. His desire to do what others were doing distracted him from what he was already good at. His freedom to choose ended up feeling more like a trap.

It’s not that we shouldn’t try new things because growth is good. However, Thomas’s experience highlights a truth many overlook: sometimes, chasing what looks like freedom pulls us off course. We get consumed by comparing ourselves to others, thinking we should be doing what they’re doing, and lose focus on the lane in which we’re meant to thrive.

As I stood in that line, I saw this play out in real life. I was frustrated and tired, and already envisioned the scolding review I had planned to leave about the company’s poor service. Meanwhile, a 4-year-old—who had just as much freedom as the rest of us to walk away, start a game, or choose joy—used that freedom to enjoy the moment. He danced, laughed, and turned waiting in line into an adventure.

The Revelation.

It hit me: freedom isn’t about doing whatever we want. True freedom is choosing patience over frustration, gratitude over comparison, and joy over bitterness. Freedom can be found in discipline. Sometimes, staying in your lane and finding joy sets you free.

Sometimes, our perspective limits us.

Somehow, there was one circumstance but two distinct perspectives on what was happening. Most of us viewed the line as restricting, keeping us from getting to bed. The 4-year-old and his sister embraced it as more time to have fun. That young man reminded me about the importance of perspective. 

He started off by focusing on how exhausted he was from a long day of traveling. The look on his face as he reached his arms towards his dad and begged him to pick him up was one of exhaustion, distress, and desperation. He repeated, “I don’t want to walk! I don’t want to walk!” But then something happened…

The same young man who was too exhausted to walk realized he was not in the airport alone; he was there with his family. Once he realized this, he turned his attention away from his pain, agony, and exhaustion to his little sister, who apparently was ready to run at a moment’s notice. That young man switched his emotion from sadness to pure joy all because he shifted his perspective on his circumstances.

The wrong perspective will cause you to miss opportunities.

What a perfect lesson for us and a great way to end this article. We often find ourselves in circumstances we cannot control, and we allow our emotions and attitude to be determined by the circumstances. We unnecessarily view circumstances that Adam Markel describes in his book Pivot as “permanent, pervasive, or personal.”

I took the airport experience personally, as if the airline and rental company colluded to disrupt my travel plans. In reality, I missed opportunities because my attitude was not right. That 4-year-old had it right, and he’s forced me to take an introspective look. Think about it: How many opportunities have you and I missed because we had the wrong attitude?

It takes practice. Starting today, look for daily opportunities to learn more about yourself and face challenging situations with a positive mental attitude. I know it sounds cliché and cheesy, but think about how much time I wasted not meeting anybody or doing anything productive in that line.

You control the narrative.

Observe the circumstance, recognize its potential impact on your mental and emotional state, and choose to adjust how you respond to the circumstance. 

Don’t waste your opportunities. Those hours compound over time, and before long, you’ll find yourself living a life of regret because you’ll realize that you allowed opportunities to slip through your fingertips because you were distracted by the circumstance. Instead, be like the little 4-year-old who used imagination, freedom, and perspective to make the best of his circumstances. Continue to grow and seek opportunities to grow others.