Insights from the Men’s Round Table on How Fathers & Role Models Build a Lasting Legacy
It was an honor to join other impactful leaders on the second episode of the Men’s Round Table series, titled “Work-Life-Purpose: Reframing the Work.” As fathers, husbands, and male role models, we are constantly navigating the complex relationship between providing for our families and pursuing our deepest purpose. This conversation stripped away the noise and offered a raw look at the core principles that redefine success for fathers—the core principles that define a fulfilling life. The host, Mista Yu, asked a few insightful questions, and the answers and subsequent conversations were fulfilling, to say the least.
The questions:
- What does success truly mean?
- How do we stop pitting purpose against provision?
- What does legacy mean to you?
- How can men support each other?
- If you had the pen to your life, what would the next chapter be?
This was an excellent opportunity to refine my thoughts on these critical questions, particularly for men who are actively seeking to deepen their connection with their children and community.
Here are some of my insights from the conversation. I offered my perspective on how we can shift our focus from temporary achievements to permanent impact. My hope is that these insights resonate with you—the men driving change and the women who support them—as we all work toward a more connected and purposeful life.
I’ll add the clip at the end of each section.
1. Redefining Success: What Does It Really Look Like?
For years, the world has presented us with a blueprint for success that promises massive wealth, global recognition, or the corner office. I’ve explored this idea myself, and ironically, I wrote about it in my journal the day before the panel. In my journal, I reflected on a definition that actually works for a man building a purposeful life.
We often get so consumed by the large structure we’re trying to build, such as the perfect family, the thriving business, and the ideal physique, that we can’t appreciate the daily progress. We’re too close to the process to see the structure forming.
My biggest lesson? Redefining success is found in the daily, consistent action, not the final outcome.
If your goal is to launch a podcast, success is showing up to record this week. If your mission is to be a present father, success is turning off your phone for 30 minutes tonight to read to your child.
As the musician Aha Gazelle said, “The hardest thing about growth is you can’t feel the movement.” I’d continue that thought: The hardest thing about building is that you’re so close that you can’t see the structure forming.
- My Success Formula: Consistent, small actions = Daily Wins.
Keep building! Brick by brick!
2. Purpose vs. Provisions: Balancing the Daily Grind
I’ve heard it countless times: “I understand purpose, but I’m so busy just trying to make money to make ends meet that I don’t have time to think about purpose…it’s just a job.”
I know that feeling. I remember working as a server in college. I hated seeing my nametag with the title “server” printed on it. It felt like that position meant I was disposable. It’s as if my title invited people to treat me with disrespect, leave their mess on the floor, or leave a measly 25-cent tip. It felt like I was only doing it to make money with no thought of my purpose.
But here is the critical pivot: You don’t need a position of power to operate with purpose.
When I was running around serving at the Chinese restaurant, I realized no one could stop me from being me. I could still be the one who smiled, who brought joy, and who made someone’s day better, even while hustling for that $2.18/hour wage plus tips. I found my purpose despite my situation.
Purposeful work is driven by your attitude, commitment, and consistency, not your title.
The Balancing Act:
- Don’t allow provisions (or your position) to distract you from purpose. Your attitude defines your work, not the paycheck.
- Don’t become so consumed by passion projects (or your purpose) that you miss the important moments in life. The family you are providing for needs your presence more than your provisions.
3. Securing Your Legacy: Becoming an Active Participant
What does a lasting legacy truly mean? It’s not just about a bank account or a building with your name on it. Legacy is built through meaningful connections.
As fathers, mentors, and male role models, our highest role on earth is to spend time connecting with our children and with others outside of the home.
Every young person needs to see positive male role models out there establishing connections. This means moving beyond just providing and becoming an active participant in the children’s lives around you.
The Legacy Challenge for Men:
You don’t need a huge platform or a special degree to mentor. You just need to show up:
- Volunteer to coach a local sport.
- Invite neighbors to watch the game with you.
- Teach a valuable skill: how to cook, manage finances, change a tire, fish, etc.
Whatever your skill is, find a way to pour it into the next generation. Let’s secure our legacy by redefining success for the next generation of impactful leaders.
4. The Message to Men: Stop Competing, Start Connecting
The saying is true: Iron sharpens iron. We are strong individually, but together, we can build something monumental. So, how do we connect more to grow and develop each other?
Challenge #1: Stop Competing
Competition is in our blood, and healthy competition is great. However, we need to eliminate the unhealthy competition where we tear each other down just to gain an advantage. We need to shift our energy from competing with our peers to connecting with them.
Challenge #2: Stop Projecting
This is hard, but critical: Stop projecting your own insecurities onto someone else. When men are insecure, especially in the creative or professional world, we often see a talented peer and, instead of supporting them, we unconsciously project our own doubts about our capabilities onto them.
Let’s commit to celebrating and uplifting one another. Connection and collaboration are the keys to collective growth.
📽️ Stop Competing, Start Connecting Clip
5. Naming the Next Chapter: Execute
The last question was insightful, and it made me think: If I had control of the pen, the next chapter of my life would be simple: Execute.
In many cases, we spend too much time planning, praying, and getting stuck in analysis paralysis. We know the vision, we’ve outlined the steps, but we hesitate.
My next chapter is a mandate: Execute. Show them it can be done. Don’t get stuck analyzing the potential outcome.
Do your thing. Execute the mission.
Watch the Full Episode
Thank you to Mista Yu and my fellow panelists for an enriching discussion on work, life, and purpose. You can catch the full episode here:
📽️ Men’s Round Table on How Fathers & Role Models Build a Lasting Legacy
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