If you’ve spent any time on social media lately, you’ve likely seen the term “cuffing season”—that period where everyone seems to be pairing up just in time for the holidays and Valentine’s Day. But for many, this season brings more anxiety than affection.

​We’ve all been there: the midnight text that feels like a connection but is actually just a mask for loneliness. The “almost right” person who checks every box on your list but leaves you with zero peace in your spirit.

It’s time for a “Pre-Relationship Detox.” Here is how to navigate the road to Valentine’s Day by prioritizing self-Leadership before partnership.

​1. The “Lead Last” Principle

​In a world that tells you to “follow your heart,” the Bible offers a different strategy: Lead it. The “Lead Last” concept suggests that effective leadership in a relationship begins with intentional self-preparation. Before you communicate your intentions to someone else, you must master your own thoughts, emotions, and purpose.

​2. Wholeness Attracts Wholeness

One of the most viral-ready truths of 2026 is this: brokenness attracts brokenness. If you enter a relationship from a place of deficit, you will inevitably expect your partner to fill a void they were never meant to carry. Real love isn’t about finding your “better half”; it’s about two whole people forming a healthy, covenant connection.

​3. Purpose Over Preference

We all have “the list”—tall, dark, spiritual, funny, etc. While desires are natural, they can become a “lord” that limits your legacy if they overrule your calling. Chemistry is instant and often deceptive, but calling is intentional. Don’t chase someone who fits your lifestyle but distracts from your mission.

​4. Healing Isn’t a Trend—It’s Necessary

​Culture loves the #HealingJourney aesthetic, but biblical healing happens in the quiet moments where you stop numbing the pain and let God perform “surgery on your soul”. Before you “cuff,” ask yourself if your scars are still bleeding. You cannot heal what you refuse to reveal.

​5. Loneliness is a Liar

Loneliness will tell you that this season of singleness is a punishment. In reality, this is a sacred season—a workshop where God is grounding your identity so that when the right person arrives, they complement you rather than completing you.

​Are You Ready to Detox?

​This Valentine’s Day, don’t just look for a date—look for a deeper connection with the Source. If you’re ready to get your mind right before you commit, we have a resource for you.

​Start the full 21-Day “Before You Cuff” Bible Plan on the YouVersion Bible app here: http://bible.us/r/HFn

Adapted from Pastor Rick’s book “Before You Cuff: The Pre-Relationship Detox” with principles and insights from Olaolu Ogunyemi.