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How to develop your child’s inquisitive mind: “Because I said so.”

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I believe I received this shirt on Father’s Day in 2015. As you can tell by the wear and tear, it’s one of my favorite shirts. I don’t remember exactly what I said when my family handed it to me, but it was probably something like, “that’s right!” Yeah teaching children to be inquisitive is important, but not more important than doing what I say when I say it! I even ran into an older gentleman who read my shirt and said, “Hey, I would do what you say too.”

One of my favorite shirts! “Because I said so. -Dad”

“That’s right!” I thought. “You see these biceps?! These back up my authority. You do what I say, when I say it. Why? Because I said so!” Some of you are beating your chest and wondering where you can buy one of these shirts. Others are ready to vomit. Nowadays, I agree with the latter group. “Because I said so” is easy to say (and wear), but it’s actually quite shallow and it can potentially squelch a child’s inquisitive spirit. We’ll discuss more, but before we dive in, we have to answer two important questions: 1. What does it mean to be inquisitive? 2. Why is it important to raise children who are inquisitive?

What does it mean to be inquisitive?

To be inquisitive is to be curious and extremely interested in learning new things. Typically, inquisitive people have an insatiable desire to know more about any given topic. For example, my son [randomly] asked me the following questions last week: 1. Why is the sun so bright? 2. Why is a Rip current called a “Rip” current? 3. Why do we say “bless you” when people sneeze?

I know that as soon as I mentioned the word “curious,” some of you thought about this old quote:

Curiosity killed the cat.

A lot of people

My ten minute Google search tells me that this quote originated in the 1598 play, Every Man in His Humour, written by the English playwright Ben Jonson. Since, it’s been used as a forewarning for those who are inquiring about or expressing curiosity in something that may result in trouble. Over the years, this quote has been used to keep people from interfering in others’ affairs. Of course this quote has also been used to discourage children from asking “too many” questions about anything. I even remember as I stared at a lifeless cat in the middle of the road, someone told me, “See? Curiosity killed that cat!” Sounds like a pretty compelling argument if you ask me.

Why is it important to encourage children to be inquisitive?

In true Olaolu fashion, I’d like to offer you an alternative to the previous quote:

Curiosity Ignorance killed the cat.

Olaolu Ogunyemi

Let’s use the same scenario above. Some argue that the cat died because he was too curious. He met an inevitably fatal ending because he was satisfying his naturally inquisitive mind. Well, I’d like to offer that the cat wouldn’t have wandered into the road in front of a car if he had known it could end his life. In other words, his fatal outcome was based upon his ignorance, not his inquisitive mind.

It’s not all life or death situations though. There are many other benefits to encouraging our children to be inquisitive.

Here are a few benefits.

  1. It broadens their perspective on current events.
  2. It gives them a desire to know more about life, science, religion, etc.
  3. It helps to develop their critical thinking skills.
  4. It helps develop their perspective and opinions.
  5. It sparks their mind to conduct analytical processes.
  6. It teaches them to remain open minded.
  7. It gives them confidence as they learn new things.
  8. It teaches them to think freely and explore their thoughts and emotions.
  9. It creates another teachable and memorable moment for you with your children. That’s what my entire parent-child-connect (P2C) platform is all about!

So now for the million dollar question:

How do you raise inquisitive children?:

1. Ask questions.

It’s no secret that I’m a huge advocate for setting the example. That is our job as leaders and mentors. The more our children see us asking questions, the more they will be inclined to do the same. Your example also teaches them the appropriate time, forum, and method to ask questions. For example, if your significant other says something and you yell back, “Why do I need to do that?!” Expect your child to do the same.

2. Give answers based upon fact.

Children may be naïve, but they’ll eventually realize if you’re just making stuff up. It’s ok to say, “I don’t know. Let me read more about that and get back to you.” It may even be a great opportunity for you to learn together! In any case, give them factual information.

3. Teach them where to find answers and how to conduct research.

I’m sure we have all heard this proverb.:

If you give a man a fish he is hungry again in an hour. If you teach him to catch a fish you do him a good turn.

Anne Isabella Thackeray Ritchie

I’m not encouraging you to hand them a dictionary or an encyclopedia, and tell them to “go figure it out.” I am encouraging you to show them how and where to gather information. Encourage them to read! This is why I include fun facts and educational material in my children’s books. Not only is this skill transferrable to the classroom, but it teaches your child how to examine perspectives and analyze information before developing their opinion.

4. Listen to them and be patient.

Patience is another topic I discuss regularly. It is a critical part of any relationship, and it’s impossible to raise inquisitive children without patience! It takes time for them to ask questions that they perceive to be complex. The fact that they don’t know how to ask the complex question makes asking the question that much harder.

Relax. Give them time to ask the question, and if they need a little help forming the question (i.e. they are struggling to form the words), gently help them. Whatever you do, don’t rush them or cut them off mid-sentence. Take time to hear their question, and give them an age-appropriate answer that they can comprehend.

5. Encourage them to ask questions.

This is a pretty simple concept. If you want your children to be more inquisitive, encourage them to be more inquisitive. Sometimes, they may be scared to ask questions. Maybe there’s a guy yelling and wearing a worn out t-shirt that says, “because I said so!” I say that tongue-in-cheek to make fun of myself, but you get the point. Be aware of what you say about and your disposition towards your children when they are being inquisitive.

Their inquisitive mind is constantly expanding as they learn about and take in the world around them. Your children’s life-long experiences and opinions will be based upon what they learn and perceive to be true. Their willingness to ask questions and challenge the norm will inevitably make them catalysts for change. And ultimately, that change will drive us to a brighter future.

Thanks for reading!

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I collaborated with Stand for the Silent to discuss how to build a trusting relationship! (Blog)

Thanks to Stand for the Silent for sharing the virtual stage and allowing me to discuss how to build trusting relationships! Continue to lead, inspire, and give our children a voice.

Olaolu Ogunyemi with Stand for the Silent: "How to build a trusting relationship with your children": 1. Authenticity 2. Transparency 3. Integrity 4. Consistency 5. Proficiency
Click here to read the full article

Here’s why I love Stand for the Silent:

A group of high school students in Oklahoma City, OK started Stand for the Silent in 2010 after they heard the story of Kirk and Laura Smalley’s son, Ty Field- Smalley. Ty (11) took his own life after being suspended from school for retaliating against a bully who had been bullying him for over two years. The organization exists as a platform to allow Kirk and Laura to share their story, and offer education and tools that will prevent their tragedy from happening to another child and family. Kirk and Laura’s mission is to continue to change kids’ lives and bring awareness to bullying and the real devastation it causes.

Since May 2010, Stand for the Silent has reached over 3,000,000 kids in almost 5,000 schools!

Olaolu Ogunyemi: U.S. Marine Officer | Mentor | Best-selling Author

Thanks for your support! Go check out standforthesilent.org and donate if you feel so inclined!

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Concerned dads patrol high school, spate of fights suddenly end: ‘People started going to class’ | Fox News

Concerned dads take action! Dads on Duty. Picture source: TMZ

I saw this article, and I HAD TO share! This is exactly what my platform is all about; parents, teachers, and mentors coming together to guide and inspire our children. The concerned dads saw a need, and they took action!

“Dads on Duty” is an exceptional concept, and I pray we replicate these kind of initiatives throughout the entire world. Well done gentlemen!

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New story for ages 2-5 coming soon!! 🚨

We are excited to announce the newest addition to the Parent-Child-Connect Book series!! Horace the Horsefly is a story for the little readers (ages 2-5). In this short story, we will practice animal sounds and sight words.

Here is a sneak peek!

Description: Horace may not feel well, but he realizes that greeting his friends really brightens their day! Sometimes a warm smile and a wave is the best medicine anyone can ask for. Come practice animal sounds with Horace as he greets his friends in the language that each of them can understand!

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🚨Wisdom, Strength, and Endurance Scholarship Recipients Announced!🚨

Today we (The Ogunyemi Family Foundation) Announced the winners of the Wisdom, Strength, and Endurance Scholarship; VERY deserving recipients!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

Want to donate to the awesome cause?? Click here!

Dillon Stokes is the “the rose that grew through the crack!” Raised by a single mother, Dillon has done his best apply himself and overcome any obstacle that comes his way. As a result, Dillon has maintained above a 4.0 Grade Point Average, and he was accepted into several universities, including LATech and Grambling State.

Dillon attributes his success to his faith in God, and his active participation in several departments at Praise Temple Full Gospel Baptist Church Ruston is how he shows his gratitude.

Ashton Jackson knows how to overcome adversity through persistence and resiliency! Active in clubs at Lincoln Preparatory School and his local church, Ashton has learned to apply the resiliency he has built throughout his life to excel at school.  A gentleman and a scholar, Ashton knows how to get the job done!

What is the Wisdom, Strength, and Endurance Scholarship?? 🤔

The Ogunyemi Family Foundation, Inc. established the Wisdom, Strength, and Endurance Scholarship to provide underrepresented minority students the opportunity to pursue higher education by alleviating and/or eliminating the financial barriers to the student’s success. According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, 69.7% of 2016 high school graduates had enrolled in college by October 2016. The college enrollment rates of African Americans and Hispanic/Latinos during 2016 was 58.2% and 72% respectively. Lower income students can only afford to attend roughly 3% of colleges in the U.S. without a loan.

The scholarship seeks to award students who have triumphed in the face of adversity, not allowing circumstances to separate them from achieving their dreams! 💡

Congratulations scholars!! 👨🏾‍🏫