writing Archives - Parent-Child-Connect

Olaolu Ogunyemi: U.S. Marine Officer| Mentor | Best-selling Author

Happy Saturday great people! Want to know how to build confidence in children? Keep reading!

I created the Parent-Child-Connect platform to provide resources for parents, teachers, and mentors to connect and build positive relationships with their children. The intended effect of those positive relationships is that we build mentally resilient children who will pursue their own dreams and become beacons of hope in our society.

That is why I am excited to introduce you to the My Strong Mind children’s book series and bring you words from the best selling author himself, Niels Van Hove!

My thoughts on his latest book: My Strong Mind V

*My Strong Mind V: I Believe in my abilities and stand my groun*d

I received an advance review copy of My Strong Mind V for free, but I decided to provide a review because this one (along with the other books in this series) is worth the buy! As a parent of three children ranging from age 3 to age 12, I am always looking for books to help build confidence and mental resiliency. This is one of those books!

As you read through, you will find practical lessons like “catch and change” that encourage children to reflect on their own thoughts and behaviors to develop self-awareness, confidence, and positive thoughts.

In summary, this book is easy and engaging enough for a first grader to read, but the topic and practical advice transcends all ages. I highly recommend My Strong Mind V!

Tips from the author and guest blogger, Niels Van Hove

Niels Van Hove: Author of the *My Strong Mind* children’s book series

After facing some challenging times in my own life, I became an accredited mental toughness coach. Inspired by my two daughters, I wrote a children’s book with the goal to help develop mental toughness in kids.

My girls were 6 and 9 when I published My Strong Mind in 2017. All scenes in the book were based on little struggles they had to deal with in those primary school years. Now I’m up to the 5th My Strong Mind, and mental toughness is more relevant than it ever was. Just think about what kids had to go through during the pandemic.

My latest book is called My Strong Mind: I Believe in my abilities and stand my ground. It is focused on Confidence. One of the 4 Cs of mental toughness, additional to Commitment, Challenge and Control.

Building Confidence

Confidence describes the self-belief a child has in their own skills and abilities. They give things a go, even when they’re not that great at it. They still feel fear when trying something new out of their comfort zone, however they accept fear as an emotion as part of learning and getting better. They understand failing is part of learning and growing, so it’s ok to feel nervous or scared.

Confidence also covers the interpersonal confidence they possess to interact with others. Confident children dare to stand up for themselves and others. They have high levels self-worth, which make them better at not taking things personally. They can let go of things easier that are out of their control, like the behaviour of others. Interestingly enough, research shows that mentally tough children show less anti-social behaviour.

We can be sure our children will have to deal with adversity and need to show confidence during their life. The book covers some great confidence examples like; asking a question in the classroom, talking to adults and look them in the eye, calling out bullying, standing your ground under peer pressure or overcoming negative self-talk.

The ‘catch and change’ technique is great for both kids and adults. Catching a negative thought like I can’t do it, or I’m not smart enough and replace it with a more positive affirmation, is a great way to change your mindset around for the better. Parents and kids can practice it together or have a conversation about it. I still use this simple technique regularly to reframe my inner self-talk. It’s an evolutionary fact that we have more negative than positive thoughts, so better learn to catch them right?

I always say I want our children to thrive, not to simply cope and survive. My mission remains to bring mental toughness to the world. I hope my latest book can contribute a little bit to this and help children around the world build their confidence over time. May mental toughness be with you.

The author’s portion of this article was originally posted on his website. Find out more about Niels at https://www.mentaltoughness.online/

My Strong Mind V is now available on Amazon

In December 2020, I was working out with my oldest brother when the congratulatory messages came rolling in; I had been selected to attend resident United States Marine Corps Expeditionary Warfare School. Normally, junior officers celebrate this news because it means you were board-selected to continue your education at Marine Corps University which is accredited to award Master’s Degrees. Instead, I was annoyed (to say the least) because I could only think of all the late nights/early mornings I spent to complete the distant education variant of the school I was selected to attend. I was even more annoyed by the fact that I was leaving behind a great team of people just as we were starting to work together and make significant progress.

After I finished what I can only describe as a private adult tantrum, I remembered one of my favorite verses that I learned as a child:

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.
Romans 8:28 NLT

Romans 8:28 (Courtesy: YouVersion Bible App)

That is when I decided to take my own advice and shift my perspective on the opportunity I was about to pursue.

Author’s note on spiritual fitness

It is easy to talk about physical fitness because anyone can track and observe tangible results. Mental fitness is fun to talk about because I am enamored by the brain, so I nerd out on things like the cognitive process and neuroplasticity. However, though it is equally as important, I admittedly do not discuss spiritual fitness enough. Too often we associate spirituality with a religious affiliation. I teach that our spirituality is customized to each individual person. Our spirituality guides our moral compass and gives us a reason to live and “do” that exceeds personal gain. Many people call the latter our “purpose” or “higher calling.”

Our spirituality allows us to realize that our situations are all temporary; however, we remain hopeful because we firmly believe each of those situations–whether bleak or lush–are interconnected and will work together to create a favorable outcome. This gives us the courage to search for the growth opportunities in each circumstance. Therefore, when approaching any circumstance, I challenge you to ask two questions: 1. “How can I accomplish my purpose while here? (Extrospection)” 2. “What can I personally and professionally learn from this? (Introspection)”*

I shifted my perspective

Once I shifted my perspective, I was able to develop personal and professional goals. I will share a few of them with you in hopes that I can help you establish and pursue your own goals. Use these as an example vice a threshold, because quite honestly, I did much better in some categories than others.

Just a few of the personal and professional goals I set last summer

Improve cardiovascular endurance
- How did I do? I decreased my run time by forty-nine seconds.
Make better dietary choices to improve physical appearance
- How did I do? I cut several food items to include dairy milk. As a result, I lost nine pounds and reduced my body fat percentage by approximately 2-3%
Help train others to prepare them for their upcoming promotion board.
- How did I do? I offered to train anyone who was willing to train first thing in the morning. One person accepted the challenge, and we began training in September 2021. She was able to achieve a 300/300 Combat Fitness Test score and a 295/300 Physical Fitness Test score. Additionally, she had noticeable changes in her physique and established a workout regimen that she plans to continue.
Become more studious and a more avid reader
- How did I do? In conjunction with my school studies, I read and studied several additional books on diverse topics and a plethora of scholarly articles. These books ranged from The Mentor Leader by Tony Dungy to We Were One: Shoulder to Shoulder with the Marines Who Took Fallujah by Patrick K. O’Donnell to The Brain’s Way of Healing: Remarkable Discoveries and Recoveries from the Frontiers of Neuroplasticity by Norman Doidge
Become a more clear and succinct writer and write a scholarly article to publish
- How did I do? I am sure my Faculty Advisor (he reviewed all of my papers) may argue that the “succinct” portion of that goal is subjective, but I believe I did well :D. More importantly, I was awarded the Marine Corps University Foundation Academic Year 2021-2022 “Mutter Marines Command and Control Writing Award” for my argumentative research paper entitled, “Adapt or Perish: A call to revise the Marine Corps Command, Control, Communications, and Computer (C4) Architecture.” At the time of this post, none of my articles have been published, but I am still working with a few editors for future publication.
Collaborate with organizations and media outlets to inspire our future generation to pursue their dreams
- How did I do? I was featured in several articles, podcasts, and elementary school visits. Check out this link to see a couple of the articles!
Dedicate time to spend with family
- How did I do? I made it a point to attend every extracurricular activity and practice that I could attend for my children. My children’s extracurricular activities included music lessons, football (in season), basketball (in season), and baseball (in season). Additionally, I did my best to always study and build my personal brand when my family was sleep (either early in the morning or late at night). I knew that I had to take advantage of this opportunity while in school, because work requirements sometimes hamper my ability to give my wife and children the time they deserve.

My hope for you

I hope you are able to use my experience and examples to prepare for your next challenge! All the obstacles you have encountered (to include what you are working to overcome right now) will work together for your benefit. Be encouraged and inspired to keep progressing, keep setting and pursuing your goals, and go win. I believe in you!