Over the past few weeks, I’ve had the privilege of sharing my journey—from Marine Officer to author and leadership mentor—in a series of honest, high-impact conversations across various platforms. The common thread running through every interview was this: True, impactful leadership requires a constant willingness to reject convention. These are personal and often counterintuitive leadership lessons I’ve learned over the years, which I’m happy to share with others.
If you feel stuck, unseen, or ineffective as a leader, a parent, or a professional, these are the five most valuable lessons that came out of the recent tour.
1. The Core of Influence: Stop Being a Chameleon
Many professionals struggle with feeling authentic, believing they must adopt a persona to succeed. This impulse stems from early life experiences where insecurities develop and later resurface, especially for leaders.
The truth is, genuine influence comes from being yourself.
- The Lesson: I call this the Caterpillar vs. The Chameleon model. The Chameleon blends in, fearing exposure. The Caterpillar uses its environment to grow and transform. Stop trying to blend in, and start using your challenges to grow your authentic self. Genuine influence comes from being oneself.
- Your Pain Point: You feel inauthentic or misunderstood in the workplace.
- Watch the Full Lesson: FailCraft (on Authentic Leadership and Insecurity) or About This Life (on Identity and Overcoming the Shadow)
2. The Uncommon Leadership Skill: Practice with Your Children
For the corporate leader or manager, nothing is more effective than practicing leadership skills at home. Why? Because children teach valuable lessons that are often too costly to learn in the high-stakes environment of the workplace. Parenting acts as a “sandbox” for leaders to experiment and develop skills in a controlled environment.
- The Lesson: Leadership starts at home. Parenting subconsciously shapes leadership, primarily by fostering empathy. You learn to listen without judgment, teach self-discipline, and have difficult conversations directly but empathetically—all skills crucial for the workplace.
- Your Pain Point: You need to improve your emotional intelligence, empathy, and ability to handle difficult employee conversations.
- Watch the Full Lesson: Abstract Essay (on Parenting and Workplace Leadership)
3. The Test of Courage: Authority is Built on Vulnerability
In the Marine Corps, I learned that true leadership is about influence, not just giving orders. A significant part of that influence is earning the trust required to lead in moments of crisis.
This trust is built when you share your human moments.
- The Lesson: Vulnerability is the currency of trust. When you are vulnerable at home, you allow leaders to create a safe work environment where team members feel comfortable bringing ideas and making mistakes, fostering creativity. Stop chasing the myth of the “perfect” leader. When you hide your mistakes, you distance yourself from your team and tell them implicitly that making errors is unacceptable.
- Your Pain Point: Your team lacks trust, creativity, or the willingness to take calculated risks.
- Watch the Full Lesson: FailCraft (on Addressing Insecurity) or Abstract Essay (on Authenticity and Vulnerability)
4. The Path to Breakthrough: Time Management & Perseverance
For young men and aspiring leaders, feeling “stuck” is a universal challenge. I’ve shared my experience of being a “troublemaker” and how community intervention—from coaches and teachers—helped me take ownership of my life.
This breakthrough comes down to mindset, mentorship, and managing the one resource that is non-renewable: time.
- The Lesson: Life is like a weight room. If you’re stuck, you need to change your perspective, celebrate your progress, and understand that “failure is a verb, not a noun”. For time management, don’t look for large blocks. Utilize small pockets of uninterrupted time, like during your commute, to record ideas and write. This is how you take small, consistent steps every day to achieve your long-term goals.
- Your Pain Point: You feel stuck, lack direction, or struggle to find time for your goals.
- Watch the Full Lesson: Professor of Perseverance Podcast (on Perseverance and Mentorship) or Scuttlebutt (on Giving Back and Time Management)
5. The Long Game: Your Legacy Is Not Your Bank Account
For many men, the highest form of leadership is rooted in a deeper commitment to service and legacy. True success is not measured by monetary gains or vanity metrics; it’s measured by the impact one makes on at least one life.
- The Lesson: This enduring commitment to service—like carrying the torch passed down from heroes—is the truest definition of patriotism and service. This drive often stems from personal experience, such as seeing a friend with an absent father and feeling a duty to mentor and guide children to alternative paths to success. This long-term focus requires daily vision, often fostered by intentional “daily daydreaming,” which helps you envision seemingly impossible goals, making realistic goals feel more attainable.
- Your Pain Point: You are struggling to define success beyond monetary gains and are looking for true, long-term purpose.
- Watch the Full Lesson: Veterans Day Special (on Service and Mentorship) and Power of Man (on Daydreaming and Motivation)
Connect & Go Deeper
Every conversation on this tour had the same underlying goal: to provide resources for leaders, parents, and young men to grow and become impactful. If any of these lessons resonated with you, I encourage you to check out the full interviews and tap into the mission of Parent-Child-Connect.
- All Interview Links:
You can also connect with me and access resources for leaders and families at www.parent-child-connect.com.
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