Try telling a twelve-year-old to “go leave a legacy.”

They’ll look at you like you’re crazy!

I don’t blame them. Legacy is a big, adult word. It sounds like a statue, a building with your name on it, or something you worry about when you’re old. So we don’t say it to our kids, but I think that costs us more than we know.

I recently published an article on https://leadershipcircle.com/ (“Are You Driving Repeat Results, or Chasing Shiny Objects?“) about how leaders get pulled toward the shiny object…the newest metric, the latest technology, a bullet point that looks great on an evaluation. It’s easy to chase because it’s visible and it gets applause. The harder work of connection, self-reflection, and service rarely gets recognition, and it definitely doesn’t receive a standing ovation.

Our kids are learning the same game, and they’re learning it early.

What’s the big Idea with “Legacy?”

Since legacy feels too big for them, the only things left to aim at are things they can see: trophies, high grades, a starting spot, and follower count. What reinforces their idea that they’re on the right track is that we cheer for those things, because they’re easy to see. Without meaning to, we teach our children to chase the next shiny object and call it success.

A twelve-year-old who knew where he belonged

Day 7 of my latest Bible Plan (Free to Fail: Raising Resilient Christian Children) is built on a story in Luke 2. Jesus is twelve, and His parents search for three days before they find Him in the temple. (Imagine losing your kid for three days. I’d be a wreck!)

Then He says, “Didn’t you know that I must be in my Father’s house?”

I’ve always thought His matter-of-fact tone is funny, but it also shows something. Even at twelve, Jesus had lined up His daily choices with who He was called to be. That’s all legacy is. It isn’t a monument after we’re gone; rather, it’s the impact of your life right now.

Bring it down to earth

Years ago I started thinking seriously about legacy because of my nephews. One of them was heading down a rough path, and I saw pieces of my younger self in him. It hit me that my greatest accomplishment wouldn’t be my own success but helping someone else discover theirs.

Kids can understand that if we shrink it down to their size. Legacy shows up in how classmates feel after spending time with your child, how teammates remember them after practice, and how your family feels after a disagreement.

Try this

Help your child decide what kind of friend, teammate, or classmate they want to be remembered as by the end of this school year. Let them put it in their own words. Then help them match their habits to it.

At the end of each day, spend one minute asking: What did you do today that moved you toward being that person?

If the day went sideways, that’s okay. Tomorrow’s another shot.

This is also the heart of the article I mentioned. Real leadership is grounded in repeatable principles, not performance, and that applies to a twelve-year-old at a lunch table as much as to a leader in a boardroom. You can read that piece here: https://leadershipcircle.com/blog/driving-repeat-results/

Day 7 closes out my free 7-day Bible Plan, Free to Fail: Raising Resilient Christian Children. You can find it on the Bible App: http://bible.us/r/KCm

So here’s my question: What’s one thing your kid is chasing right now that might be a shiny object? Tell me in the comments. No judgment here.