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You CAN Make it Through These Dark Times! PART 1- Just Shine Your L.I.G.H.T.

It is no secret: we are living in dark times. It seems like every time there is light at the end of the tunnel, a dark shadow is cast to make the sunshine look more like a small flickering candle. The darkness of that shadowy tunnel seems to surround and embrace us until the small flickering light becomes nothing more than an irrelevant annoyance. I use this symbolism because for many of us, the darkness in the world parallels the hardships (physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual) in our own lives. The flickering light (hope/anticipation that it is going to get better) is more annoying than helpful. It just seems so much easier to give up. Right?

Yesterday morning as I was meditating (as I do every morning), I received a quote from inspiringquotes.com:

“In a dark time, the eye begins to see.”

Theodore Roethke

I found that quote to be a bit oxymoronic. Darkness is the absence of light. Scientifically speaking, without illumination human vision is unable to distinguish anything. So what is Mr. Roethke talking about?!

I was intrigued, so I did a little research. That quote is actually the first line in the poem “In a Dark Time” by Theodore Roethke. Click here to read the full poem if you are interested. If you do not know who Theodore Roethke is, he is an award-winning American poet who “helped to produce a remarkable body of work that would influence future generations of American poets to pursue the mysteries of one’s inner self.” When he was only 14, his uncle committed suicide and his dad died of cancer. This had a significant impact on his life and influenced his work. (That brief bio does not do his life’s work justice! Read more here.)

I gave that quick background to highlight that his quote has credence, but that still left me wondering, “how does the eye begin to see in darkness?” That question led me to my own philosophy, we can create our own light in times of darkness. How? Allow me to introduce an easy to remember acronym: L.I.G.H.T.

Light at the end of the tunnel.

The first thing I will challenge you to do is shift your perspective of the “light at the end of the tunnel.” It is easy to view the light as simply an escape or exit from dark times. We exclaim, “if I can only make it to that light, I will be out of here!” The issue with that simplistic view is it does not allow room for “life.” Some days we feel like we make significant progress, but most days we trip, stumble, and sometimes fall as we focus on the exit and not the things around us. That makes the light seem like a distant dream or “hope deferred” as the great Maya Angelou called it.

Take another look. Don’t just view the light as a means to the end; instead, view the light as a tool that reveals the things around you. At times, that light may seem distant, but in times of darkness, even the smallest light will expose the stumbling blocks that lurk in the shadow. When you view the light as a resource, you begin to learn and grow from the dark environment. You begin to recognize and quickly step over stumbling blocks in your path that you previously would have missed! So yes, the light is the means to the end but it is also the tool that illuminates your path.

Inspiration.

What inspires you? What is your “why?” We get tired sometimes as we traverse through the dark tunnel. We ask ourselves, “what’s the point?” That’s when our inspiration kicks in! It pushes us to limits we did not know we had. It drives us along our illuminated path.

So how do you find what inspires you?

  • Surround yourself with positive people who are headed in the same direction.
  • Think about the issues you are passionate about changing.
  • Find people you can help lead through dark times.

Our inspiration is usually centered around the value we bring to others. We all have a calling or purpose that is bigger than just us. Allow that calling or purpose to be your inspiration.

Growth.

My good friend and popular Artist, Aha Gazelle, said it best, “the hardest thing about growing is you can’t feel the movement.” (Song: Invitation by Aha Gazelle) That is such a profound message and fundamental truth. I remember how it felt when I started playing basketball as a young child. I knew you didn’t have to be tall to play basketball, but it was a huge help! So everyday I would stand against the wall and record my height with a pencil. It was very discouraging because I could not see or feel the growth. Eventually, I started to measure my height out of habit instead of anticipation. It wasn’t until I looked back after a few months and noticed my pencil mark moved a little higher. I was thrilled! “I grew overnight!” I thought.

That’s a fairly humourous comparison, but we do this as adults. No matter how far we have actually progressed, we feel like we have not made significant progress. Stop doing that to yourself! Every step forward is progress you should be proud of! Even when you do not feel or see the growth, it is happening. Celebrate your growth!

Hardships.

If you read “In a Dark Time” in its entirety, you noticed Theodore Roethke was making the same point I am making right now, hardships exist to make us better. That hurts to even think about. We have spent so many years looking at darkness and hardships as a negative when in reality, they are necessary for our growth. As I shared before, I will compare hardships to the weights in the gym. The gym is full of things that can either crush you or make you stronger. It all depends on your perspective. Just like hardships, gym equipment is designed to create micro tears in your muscles. Sounds scary and counterintuitive right? Maybe. Until we realize that our body heals those micro tears to make our muscles stronger and more resilient than they were before!

So shift your perspective! Those hardships may cause pain or “micro tears,” but you will become stronger because of it! I know it is hard to fathom, and it may seem impossible that you will become stronger as a result of the hardship(s) you are experiencing right now. But like Nelson Mandela once said, “it always seems impossible until it’s done.”

Time.

Why is it important to see, learn, grow, and develop while in darkness? Because it takes time to make it through. I have always been a fan of taking action and making the most out of every second we have here on Earth. As I said before, time is one of our most precious nonrenewable resources, so don’t waste it. Embrace where you are, and invest time learning more about yourself and growing those around you!

If you need a little help learning and/or teaching others how to make it through dark times, download my FREE #defeattheshadow Journal at https://parent-child-connect.com/free-resources/ today!

U.S. Marine Officer, mentor, and best-selling author, Olaolu Ogunyemi gives you tips on how to make it through these dark times.
Olaolu Ogunyemi: U.S. Marine | Mentor | Best-selling Author

If you enjoyed today’s post, head over to https://parent-child-connect.com/blog/ for more like this!

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Olaolu Ogunyemi’s debut books receive a warm literary welcome – EIN Presswire

Olaolu Ogunyemi: U.S. Marine Officer | Best-selling Author | Teen Mentor

Literary world reacts to U.S. Marine turned Children’s Book Author’s debut books

LOUISVILLE, KENTUCKY, UNITED STATES, November 19, 2021 /EINPresswire.com/ — Readers’ Favorite announces the review of the Children – Concept book “Crow From the Shadow” by Olaolu Ogunyemi, currently available at http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0921V785J and Children – Animals book “Horace the Horsefly” by Olaolu Ogunyemi, currently available at http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1737492733. Both are also available at http://www.parent-child-connect.com/store

Readers’ Favorite is one of the largest book review and award contest sites on the Internet. They have earned the respect of renowned publishers like Random House, Simon & Schuster, and Harper Collins, and have received the “Best Websites for Authors” and “Honoring Excellence” awards from the Association of Independent Authors. They are also fully accredited by the BBB (A+ rating), which is a rarity among Book Review and Book Award Contest companies.

“Reviewed By Asher Syed for Readers’ Favorite Crow From the Shadow, written by Olaolu Ogunyemi and illustrated by Joshua Ogunyemi, is the first book in the Parent-Child-Connect (P2C) picture book series. The book begins by introducing the reader to Crow, a young narrator who says he’s from The Shadow, following this by stating that The Shadow could be anything. It controls every aspect of Crow’s life and sets restrictive parameters of what he can and cannot do. Crow tells us what his own preference is with what he wears, how he performs at school, and the places he likes to visit. Each is pushed aside by The Shadow’s instruction that Crow feels obliged to follow. As the story progresses, Crow describes isolation and the destruction of motivation, dreams, and all other positives in his life. It is only when Crow comes out from under The Shadow that we see what life is like in the sunlight.

Woah! Crow From the Shadow is nothing at all like the other children’s books I’ve been reading for a while, and completely realigned my barometer on what a fantastic piece of kid-lit truly is. And what is it? It’s this and whatever else Olaolu Ogunyemi creates like this. The first thing that leaps out from the start is that this book is cool. Really cool. Not a word that can be associated with most children’s picture books but decidedly appropriate here. The way Crow talks and the way he describes what is going down in his world is profoundly honest, and Crow looks like the kind of bird you want to be friends with. He’s in a hoodie. He speaks like he’s straight out of an indie film and sort of resembles Spy from the 80s comic strip, if Spy was cool. Joshua Ogunyemi is the artist who breathes life into Olaolu’s words, sticking to a dark palette initially but slowly moving toward color as Crow starts making decisions for himself. I love this book and would give it a whole bucket of stars if I could.”

“Reviewed By Emily-Jane Hills Orford for Readers’ Favorite

Amazon best-seller, Crow From the Shadow

Horace is a horsefly and he’s not feeling very well. But he still wants to greet his friends: the horse, the cow, the bird, the duck, and so many others. He likes to listen to the sounds each animal makes, like the ‘moo’ of the cow and the ‘neigh’ of the horse. Feeling weak, Horace asks the young reader to take him to visit with his friends. And, when he returns, Horace finds Mama Bug making something to help him feel better, as all mothers love to do.

Olaolu Ogunyemi’s picture book story, Horace the Horsefly, is a sweet story with an unusual protagonist: a horsefly named Horace. Horseflies are not usually everyone’s favorite living creature, but Horace definitely puts the charm on as he leads us around the farm to greet all his friends. Told in lyrical rhyming verse and accompanied by bright, colorful illustrations, this story teaches young readers about animals and the sounds they make. Using simple language, the author is also encouraging youngsters to recognize more words, especially the many uses of onomatopoeia, like ‘moo’ and ‘neigh.’ By repeating many of the words, the young reader will start to recognize the repeated words easily. This builds a reading vocabulary and confidence in reading on their own. As well as teaching them about animals and their sounds, the author is teaching young readers the importance of friendship and love, especially the love shared between a parent and a child. And what’s best? Even though Horace isn’t feeling well, he still has a warm smile for all his friends.”

Horace the Horsefly

You can learn more about Olaolu Ogunyemi and “Crow From the Shadow” at https://readersfavorite.com/book-review/crow-from-the-shadow and “Horace the Horsefly” at https://readersfavorite.com/book-review/horace-the-horsefly where you can read reviews and the author’s biography, as well as connect with the author directly or through their website and social media pages.

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Both of Olaolu’s debut books earned the coveted Readers’ Favorite Five Star seal!
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Terrific Children’s Book Read Aloud

Happy Tuesday everyone!

Here is another great opportunity to hear my inspirational Amazon best-selling children’s book, Crow From the Shadow!

Ruthy’s Reading Room is featuring Amazon Best-selling children’s book,
Crow From the Shadow.
Wednesday, December 1, 2021 at 12pm EST

I am so grateful that Ruthy’s Reading Room chose to feature my book! I hope that all who watch are inspired to take control of their lives in spite of adversity.

Ruthy’s Reading Room is broadcasting Crow From the Shadow this Wednesday, December 1, 2021 at 12pm EST. Click here to tune in!

Together, we can #defeattheshadow

I believe in you!

U.S. Marine and Amazon best-selling children’s book author, Olaolu Ogunyemi, pictured with his children’s books.
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Special announcement and BONUS Quick Parent Tip About Giving!

I love November, so we are celebrating with a sale + a bonus quick parent tip about giving!

☑️ Marine Corps Birthday- Nov 10th
☑️ Veterans Day- Nov 11th
☑️ My Birthday 🥳🎉- Nov 13th!

The sale:
Free shipping ($30 minimum)! Free Advance Review Copy of my upcoming instant classic! Up to 35% off of select items! You get first dibs since you subscribed to my blog! 🎉

All of this just in time for Christmas!

www.parent-child-connect.com/store

Thanks you for your support! 😁🤝🏾

Now for the bonus Quick Parent Tip: How to teach children to give.

Throughout the year, my wife and I do our best to teach our children the importance of giving. However, we really emphasize giving this time of year simply because a lot of people are in “receive” mode. In other words, our children are expecting to get, get, get. So we figured we should challenge the norm and emphasize giving; embracing the old phrase, “’tis the season of giving!” Here’s a few things we learned along the way (acronym- G.I.F.T.):

Give. This one seems pretty obvious, but it is a challenge nonetheless. Why? Because we all have great intentions on teaching our children how to give, but sometimes we forget to be transparent with our giving… Or we forget to give at all. I encourage you to be transparent when you generously give your time, talent, and money. Of course we are not doing this to brag but to show our children what generosity looks like.

Invite. Invite your children to join you when you give. For example this year my family and I are working with our church (Mount Ararat Church in Stafford, Virginia) to pack shoeboxes of gifts in support of Operation Christmas Child! My children are packing gifts they would enjoy and writing a letter to a child they do not know in hopes that they will bring joy to that child’s life.

Quick Parent Tip About Giving. Supporting Operation Christmas
My children are sending Crow From the Shadow along with other gifts in support of “Operation Christmas Child.”
Quick Parent Tip About Giving. Supporting Operation Christmas
My children are sending Horace the Horsefly along with other gifts in support of “Operation Christmas Child.”

Forgive. This is an odd one to mention when discussing generous giving. Yet, here I am mentioning it. By openly forgiving others, our children can see that we have a heart for people. At its core, forgiveness is the ultimate act of giving someone something whether we believe they deserve it or not. So let your children see your kindness as you forgive others.

Teach. This is arguably the most important step. Teach your children why giving is important. Make the topic relatable so it becomes less of just an annual tradition and more of a character trait. Ultimately, we want our children to be considered givers; thus, we must encourage them to give often, willingly, and without prompt.

I will leave you with this quote by Kathy Calvin:

Giving is not just about making a donation. It is about making a difference.

Let’s make a difference in someone’s life today!

Check out more great blogs like this one at: www.parent-child-connect.com/blog

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Watch “Crow From the Shadow Read Aloud by Reading Pioneers Academy” on YouTube

Another GREAT read aloud of my Amazon Best-seller, Crow From the Shadow!

Crow From the Shadow read aloud on YouTube!

Thank you Reading Pioneers Academy!

See the YouTube video here!

Check it out and share, share, SHARE! This message must/will reach thousands around the world. I want our young people screaming, “I determine my own future!” 🌍😁

Check out Crow From the Shadow and the other books in my Parent-Child-Connect book series at https://Parent-Child-Connect.com/store

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Newest podcast interview for leaders!

Olaolu Ogunyemi (right) pictured with podcast host J. Fuller!

Leadership is all about sacrifice and ensuring the wellbeing of those you lead. Great leaders listen, learn, and adjust.

Olaolu Ogunyemi

I had a great chat on The Backfire Podcast with Jeff Fuller of #jfullerinterviews

We talked about how spirituality impacts leadership, the benefit of listening to others, and more!

Check it out below! 😁💪🏾

YouTube: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TI5z5YNlVwA

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jeffrey.m.fuller.1/videos/191223356420104/

Check out more of my podcast appearances at https://parent-child-connect.com/blog/public-appearances/

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New story for ages 2-5 coming soon!! 🚨

We are excited to announce the newest addition to the Parent-Child-Connect Book series!! Horace the Horsefly is a story for the little readers (ages 2-5). In this short story, we will practice animal sounds and sight words.

Here is a sneak peek!

Description: Horace may not feel well, but he realizes that greeting his friends really brightens their day! Sometimes a warm smile and a wave is the best medicine anyone can ask for. Come practice animal sounds with Horace as he greets his friends in the language that each of them can understand!

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Crow From the Shadow – Read Aloud! Engaging and encouraging tale about countering negativity | Minty Kidz

The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.

Dr. Seuss

Whether it is via call, text, DM, or otherwise, it is so encouraging to hear people read my story, Crow From the Shadow! 🤗 Thank you Minty Kidz YouTube Channel for reading aloud! See it here! You did an exceptional job of bringing this powerful message to families across the world in an entertaining way.

This made my day ☺️

Please subscribe on YouTube! 😁

Have a great evening!

Picture with my oldest daughter as we watch the Minty Kidz reading of "Crow From the Shadow!" SN: She's supposed to be a baby forever! 😪
Picture with my oldest daughter as we watch the Minty Kidz reading of “Crow From the Shadow!” SN: She’s supposed to be a baby forever! 😪
“Crow From the Shadow” on Amazon and Parent-Child-Connect.com (signed copy) now!
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Here’s What You Don’t Know About Improving Your Family’s Mental Toughness!

Join best-selling children’s book author and Mental Toughness Expert, Niels Van Hove & best-selling children’s book author and U.S. Marine Officer, Olaolu Ogunyemi on Facebook Live as they discuss life, mental toughness, fatherhood, and more! You do not want to miss it. September 1, 2021 at 8:00 PM Eastern.

In case you missed it, here is the interview!

Here are a few links mentioned in the video:

Connect with Niels Van Hove: http://www.mentaltoughness.online/

Connect with Olaolu Ogunyemi: https://parent-child-connect.com/

“My Strong Mind” book series on Amazon:  https://www.amazon.com/My-Strong-Mind…/dp/0648085910/

“Crow From the Shadow” on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09244VR1X/

Additional resources:
https://www.bubhub.com.au/…/how-to-develop-mental…/https://www.mamamia.com.au/make-your-children-more…/
https://www.kidspot.com.au/…/1082d37c9177d4f4cb1b700243…

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Quick Parent Tip: Build Your [Child’s] Life in Reverse

Hello great people! Recently, I was watching a movie called “Arrival” on Hulu. Here is a brief description I found on Google:

“Linguistics professor Louise Banks (Amy Adams) leads an elite team of investigators when gigantic spaceships touch down in 12 locations around the world. As nations teeter on the verge of global war, Banks and her crew must race against time to find a way to communicate with the extraterrestrial visitors. Hoping to unravel the mystery, she takes a chance that could threaten her life and quite possibly all of mankind.”

I will not give my opinion on the movie (because it is irrelevant for today’s topic). However, there was one quote at the end that got my wheels turning. 🤔

“If you could see your whole life from start to finish, would you change things?”

-Actor Amy Adams playing as Louise Banks (Arrival)

I started to pontificate on this slightly modified thought, “What if I could see ‘the end?’ Would I change what I am presently doing?” The easy answer is YES! But how?

1. Start Imagining

In “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” Stephen Covey said, “begin with the end in mind.” This requires foresight, imagination, and vision.

Our [your] ability to imagine in high definition is our [your] super power!

Try this: Close your eyes and see your children in the future. What kind of personality do they have? Do you know what brings them joy and fulfillment? What opportunities exist for them? Keep imagining! This is a high definition imagination moment (e.g. if you cannot taste the coffee that future you is sharing with your child[ren], just keep letting your mind wander!)

I’ll give an example. Brea and I imagine that our children will create healthy relationships, maintain a positive mental attitude, and be financially stable/free. That’s “the end,” but how do we get there??

2. Start Building (in reverse)!

Ok, so now that you have a clear picture of “the end” what do you do? You start building… in reverse!

Let’s take financial stability/freedom for example. We asked ourselves, “what does financial stability look like for our children later in life?” We imagined our children comfortably traversing through three key areas of finance: giving, saving/investing, and enjoying.

1. Giving: We truly believe Acts 20:35 that says, “…it is more blessed to give than to receive.” So not only are we extremely transparent with our giving, we encourage our children to do for others! Give their time and their talents. Give [donate] a percentage (at least 10%) of the money they earn. We want them to feel and understand the value of promoting the welfare of others.

2. Saving/Investing: I admit, this is a tough skill that requires discipline and practice, but if mastered at a young age, our children can ensure their future financial stability while building a legacy for future generations.

Currently, we are teaching our children to save using a couple of different “baskets.”

Basket (A) is call “short term savings.” The short term savings basket is used to get things that require them to save for less than ~30 days. For example, my 7 year old would work for a couple of weeks to earn enough money to purchase a $15 toy.

Basket (B) is called “long term savings.” The long term savings basket is used for things that take longer than ~30 days to save for. This is a little harder for the younger ones, but my 11 year old would work hard for a few weeks to purchase some brand new shoes…… Yea, she’s at that phase in her life. Bring back the little cute puzzles from Dollar Tree!! 😬🙄🥴… I digress.

You get the point, right? We are teaching them to consistently put money aside vice constantly working the “instant gratification” muscle (we will get to that in a second).

Lastly, we introduced my oldest to the concept of investing in mutual funds, and thanks to the Financial Literacy Flashcards by the Finance Doctor (shameless plug 🔌⚡), we have been able to teach her some valuable financial literacy terms! In the future, we will likely open a custodial Roth IRA, show her how we consistently invest for her college expenses, etc. But for now, we are slowly exposing her to the concept of long-term investing at a pace that we feel is appropriate.

3. Enjoying: This one came natural for our children–nobody had to teach them how to spend/enjoy money. And guess what? There’s nothing wrong with that! By mastering the other two key areas, our children will be able to reap the benefits of their hard work. We are not flashy people, but there are a few luxuries that we indulge in as a family so our children understand that there is nothing wrong with treating yourself! In fact, it is a must for a healthy lifestyle. Work hard, play hard!

And that’s it! That is just one of many examples of how we are building our lives in reverse. See how easy that was?!

Now it’s your turn. Give me an example of how you are (or will start) living your life in reverse!