Kids don’t rise by accident. They rise because someone teaches them identity before the world tells them who they’re not.

That’s the heart of my conversation on The Find Your Leadership Confidence Podcast with Vicki Noethling. We talked about the real work of building confident, resilient children. That’s the kind of leadership that starts long before the professional career and long before adulthood. In this episode, we break down practical strategies for teaching kids identity and helping them rise above insecurity.

Teaching Kids Identity: What We Talked About

In our conversation, Vicki and I discuss several key strategies for parents to build stronger connections with their children and foster resilience. Here are some key points:

• Prioritize Open Communication: The most fundamental step is simply talking and truly listening to your children. I highlight the importance of creating dedicated time (like my infamous “tea time” tradition) to hear about their world and connect on their level (24:12 – 25:10).
• Practice “Leading Last”: This concept is from my book Lead Last, and it’s rooted in servant leadership, which means supporting and uplifting your children in ways that they need rather than leading solely based on your upbringing or generic parenting advice you’ve received in the past. It involves understanding their unique needs and providing the resources they need to develop, rather than forcing them to mirror you (8:06 – 9:07).
• Model Vulnerability: As parents, it is important to show your children your full range of emotions, including times when you fail, struggle, or grieve. Admitting your own mistakes and apologizing openly teaches children that they don’t have to be perfect (27:14 – 28:09).
• Encourage Problem-Solving: Instead of immediately fixing every issue, create safe scenarios for children to learn by doing. I always tell parents to create scenarios for your children to fail. In this episode, I share how observing his son navigate a simple task helped him build confidence and resilience through experience (25:28 – 26:53).
• Identify and Address “Shadows”: Inspired by my book, Crow from the Shadow, we encourage parents to help children identify their “shadows”—the fears, people, or doubts that hold them back. Having an open dialogue about these obstacles helps children realize they control their own future (18:17 – 21:19).
• Bridge the Gap with Schools: Vicki emphasizes the importance of being an advocate for your child’s education. When challenges arise in the classroom, proactive communication and creative partnership with teachers can make a significant difference in a child’s confidence (14:15 – 16:13).

If you’re a parent, educator, mentor, coach, or anyone who influences the next generation, this episode will give you practical tools you can use today.

🎙️ Watch or listen to the full episode:

https://www.FindYourLeadershipConfidence.com/olaolu-ogunyemi/

Leadership begins at home, identity begins with intentional conversations, and confidence begins with connection.

If we want to build confident future leaders, teaching kids identity must become a daily practice at home. Let’s build strong leaders…One intentional moment at a time!